i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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