Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
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