so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
