"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
