i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
