U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Enjoy the penises
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
