sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
