i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
