my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
