I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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