Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
