tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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