As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
