my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
