Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
