yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
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