Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
