1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
