Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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