dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
