i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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