be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
