worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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