Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
