We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
