my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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