I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
