Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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