I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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