I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
