Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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