So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Randomize
