I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
