There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
