it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
If I die, sorry about rent.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
