there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
