I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
