Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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