Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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