I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
