I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
