the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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