i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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