Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
