I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
No subtext here. People are naked.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
