mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
