Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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