Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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