I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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