5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
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