Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize