just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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